Image borrowed from Pigs in the Forest

A few nights ago, the post-February vacation family schedule had snuck up on us. After a week’s worth of us dining at roughly the same time, suddenly there were potholes in the calendar. So the defrosted pork tenderloin was going to have to wait for another night.

Benjamin, though, wanted to be clear on how much pork he was going to eat when it was served. “I want 21 pieces of pork,” he declared.

By pieces, he meant bites. That was a vast improvement from the reaction we usually get. The conversation usually goes something like this.

Benjamin: “What are we having for dinner?”
Either Brandy or I: “Pork.”
Benjamin: “But I don’t like PORK!” (volume rising throughout the staccato sentence, so the word pork is said at maximum volume.)

“Benjamin, you do like pork,” either of us will respond. “Every time we say we’re going to have pork for dinner, you say you don’t like it. But then every time you eat it, and at some point during dinner you say, ‘Hey, I like pork.’ So can we just skip to the part where you say you like pork?”

That’s a direct quote. Said every time. Repeat the ritual for chicken, too.

The other tactic we’ve tried is to remind Benjamin that his favorite food is sausage, and the primary ingredient in sausage is usually pork. Doesn’t matter. To him, sausage is sausage, and pork is pork. The former generates excitement. The latter causes dread.

So color me surprised and happy when Benjamin skipped the tantrum, and got right to the meat of the matter. He was going to eat 21 pieces of pork.

The following night, Benjamin again asked what I would be whipping up for dinner.

“Pork, remember? We talked about this last night.”

“Oh, right,” Benjamin said. He paused. I cringed. Would we be returning to the tantrum?

“I’ll have 20 pieces,” he said.

I exhaled. Victory! Two nights in a row, even. It’s a winning streak!

Now to dive into the boy’s psyche.

“I thought you said 21 last night,” I pried.

“But, Dad,” Benjamin replied. “That would be silly. Twenty-one pieces is a lot of pork.”

Indeed it is, son. So 20 shall be the number. Nineteen would be too few, and 22 would be right out.