This is a home-office week, so Mason and I were were able share a daily dose of SportsCenter this morning before he had to catch the school bus.

As we were doing so, on comes an ad for Just For Men. It opens with retired flamethrower Randy Johnson wrestling with his unwieldy lawn and his gnarly, graying Fu Manchu. Enter Emmitt Smith, Keith Hernandez and Walt Frazier, extolling Just For Men’s virtues, among which are instant animal magnetism to draw an army of buxom landscapers to help with the yard work.

If only…. Honestly, I’d settle for a product that got Mason to pick up the sports paraphernalia he leaves strewn about the yard.

As the ad closes, the Just For Men spokesmen smile and admire Johnson’s facial enhancement.

“The Big Unit is chillin’!”

“His landscape is thrillin’!”

Randy Johnson closes it out with a smile, and says, “Keep your edge.”

Mason pipes up: “Dad, you should get that.”

Thank goodness it wasn’t a Viagra ad.